Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Top 10 Albums of 2010

1. Band of Horses- Infinite Arms
2. Gogol Bordello- Trans-Continental Hustle
3. Bomb the Music Industry- Adults!!!; Smart!!! Shithammered!!! And Excited by Nothing
4. The Budos Band- III
5. Mose Giganticus- Gift Horse
6. High on Fire- Snakes of the Divine
7. Bongripper- Satan Worshipping Doom
8. Circa Survive- Blue Sky Noise
9. Twilight- Monument to Time End
10. Scissor Sisters- Night Work

Other Notable Albums:
- Rosetta - A Determinism of Morality
- BXI (Ian Astbury and Boris)- S/T
- Dillinger Escape Plan- Option Paralysis

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Submissive is not synonym for skank

Submissive does not mean slut, it does not mean weak, and it certainly does not mean that you can get me to jump into bed with you from a one line email telling me how dirty I am and that I must NEED to be owned by you.
I first introduced to the world of kinky online communities (ok…dating sites) in the Alternative Sexually Collective at my college, and went right on back to my dorm and signed on to Fetlife and Collarme… each with completely different results. While any site that’s even remotely adult related will of course be littered with creepy older men looking for underage (or at least underage LOOKING) girls to kidnap, guys pretending to be young innocent girls looking for other girls to play with, and of course spambots trying to get you to join their ‘kewwwl dating site!!11!’, there are a few real, down to earth people, looking for friends with similar interests, that won’t drag you into a field and beat you unconscious…unless you wanted that.
As a whole, Fetlife was a rather positive experience, mainly because it wasn’t advertised as a dating site so there wasn’t any pre-conceived notions that everyone was there just to get laid. There are tons of discussion intensive groups, and hilarious fetishes based on Dexter, beards, or even other Fetlifers! I have, of course, received some horribly offensive messages on the site, telling me that I’m a dirty skank that can’t live without this man telling me what to do and preventing me from having any sort of professional life, I have also met some really great people from my college town and my hometown that I can talk to freely about kink without any worry of being judged.
Collarme, on the other hand, was almost entirely a negative experience. Within the first 5 minutes of signing up, I had 3 pages worth of messages from guys more than twice my age, with out any pictures or profile information whatsoever, telling me that, from the one very G-rated picture that I posted, they could tell that I was a dirty, depraved slave that needed a strong man (namely…them) to come into my life and control every aspect without a care for what I wanted, despite the fact that all over my profile it says that I have very serious career aspirations and refuse to let any partner (Dom or otherwise) get in the way of those goals. I have, in the nearly two months that I have been a member of this site, have received messages from the same guys, regardless of the fact that I refuse to respond, telling me that I am a cunt and tearing apart my beliefs of kink and submission being an empowering experience for a strong feminist women, yet still believing that I must want to talk to them.
My experiences on such adult and kink related sites gave me a very interesting view on how many dominant men view submissive women. Though I already knew that there was going to be a lot of misogyny and blatant mistreatment of women in this community (thanks to ignorance and the assumption that since a woman is submissive she must want you to completely degrade her humanity and worth), I was not aware of how apparent it actually is.
I do not mean to say that all women who are submissive and involved in the kink and BDSM community do NOT wish to be completely enslaved by these men, nor do I mean to show them any amount of disrespect. I do mean to say that many strong, career driven, feminist, submissive women that are looking to these sites for friends and potential partners have a lot of work to do to remind the world that submissive does NOT mean inferior.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Underdogs with wonderbras in a pushup contest.

I run at a 32 B cup and while I have been happy with this, I have always been curious about what I'd look like as a C... or even a D. So i decided to find out. I ventured to Victoria's Secret to find out what this "miraculous" push up bra would make me look like. I put it on and my jaw dropped, I even let out a rather loud "oh my god". It looked insanely unnatural and.....well rather good. This led to one hell of a mind fuck about chests and how the way they look wrecks women's self esteem.  I also began watching Nip/Tuck which gave me another viewpoint on wanting to change your cup size; plastic surgery. A girl I know got breast implants and while I was completely baffled by why someone would want to do that, I wanted to find out.
And so begins my experiment.
I purchased some push ups which promised to turn my b's into d's
Let's see what happens.

If you have opinions on the threat or happiness that push up bras and plastic surgery pose for women please leave them on here.

I get that this is racy, there's no need for you to tell me so.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Last Year, she wanted a dollhouse


Last Friday night I went to a concert in the city with the influential and unbelievable metal band Eyehategod headlining, supported by Brutal Truth, Nachtmystium, Black Anvil, and Tombs. I had bought my ticket for this concert mere days after it was announced and had been looking forward to seeing one of the bands that really shaped who I am musically (Eyehategod) for the first time.

Needless to say, there was an abundance of bearded men and their over dressed goth girlfriends, but not many women who seemed to be there to actually enjoy some serious Sister****er and Dopesick jams. This point was driven home by a shocking and slightly upsetting altercation between Mike Williams (Eyehategod's lead singer and notable badass) and some woman, dressed in the skankiest of shirts who had been flipping off the crowd the entire time....while not showing any interest in the actual music) because it seemed she had hit his wife. As I watched, he came at her with a mic stand, a water bottle, and his fists before the song ended and he let out a stream of ****s, bitches, and ****s about her. This ended in him telling the crowd to kick her out or he'd stab her.

While a small portion of the crowd yelled out things like "this is how you treat your fans?!", most of the audience was supportive of his decision and many laughed and cheered him on as he yelled "BUH BYE" to the faceless woman.

This whole interaction led to an interesting thought sequence about how women are seen in the metal and hardcore music scenes. Many women, as I've seen, that come to shows are looking to sleep with the men in the bands, and while I do not condone the actions of my beloved lead singer at this show, I can understand how disrespectful it can seem to the band to have women only there because they think you're attractive and not because they respect your music.

There have been some awesome female figures in metal like Runhild Gammelsæter (who at the age of 17 joined forces with guitar gods Greg Anderson and Stephen O'Malley to form to metal power trio Thorr's Hammer) but it is still a genre filled with "show sluts" and "reluctant girlfriends" and not enough women who are there to jam out and enjoy the music.

 check out Horror Pain Gore Death records. he's a great dude.
And check out the month long endeavors of Jamie Keiles and the Seventeen Magazine Project

Thursday, June 3, 2010

A Quickie About Pansexuality

Last night I was having a talk with a friend about this blog and various things related to sex. At one point the topic of sexual orientation came up and I mentioned that I saw myself as pansexual.
For those of you who are unaware, pansexuality is defined, according to wikipedia, as being characterized by the potential aesthetic attraction, romantic love, or sexual desire towards people regardless of their gender identity or biological sex.
There is a difference between this and bisexuality as pansexuality is a way to skip gender binaries that often help define the interests of a bisexual person.

While I have my specific tastes for a male or a female (big tits and blonde hair vs a beard and chest hair) and ones that fall under both categories (tattoos, glasses) I do not see most biological sexual attributes (even down to the genitalia) as any means of deciding a future mate. I also see transexuals and other people who go beyond gender binary as beautiful and someone I could consider dating.

As I mentioned to my friend, I am a very testosterone driven women but just because I don't wear frills and makeup doesn't make my vagina any less meaningful.
I love hardcore music.
I love hot pink.
I love meat and potatoes.
I love cotton candy.
I love watching/playing rugby.
I love bubblegum.

If that means I'm androgynous than so be it.

"The first time I slept with a woman I freaked out. I was like am I gay? Am I straight? And then I realized, I'm just a slut"- Margaret Cho (this was done by memory so I doubt its verbatim).

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

So, who am I?

So I'm a lady. I'm bossy. I'm abrasive. I curse a lot. I like sex. I like hardcore and metal. I like folk music. I'm obsessed with tattoos. And I'm the classiest broad you'll ever meet.

Since I was old enough to even know what sex was I was fascinated by it. Not just the fact that it felt good, but the fact that it was the single most important factor in our existence yet it is still unbelievably taboo! I have always felt that sex is, and should be, a form of empowerment for men AND women.

I am not a man hating feminist.

I love men, I love women, and I love every gender in between.

I watch porn quite a lot. But not to get off. I watch it just to become accustomed to new things that a portion of our population is interested in.

I love Kathleen Hanna, Allison Wolfe, and Madison Young.
And many others. But they're the three I've been focusing on lately.

Mainly Miss Young.
An adult film actress who runs a sexuality and gender based art gallery out in san fran. She's a beautiful and wonderfully eloquent woman who I would love to model my future after. Though I'm n0t terribly interested in following her path in being an adult film actress (though I have immense respect for how she's held herself in such a potentially misogynistic field) I have found what she does outside of that to be amazing.

And Kathleen Hanna and Allison Wolfe for OBVIOUS reasons.

I would also like to note a certain Miss Taryn Hipp (who can be found at http://tarynhipp.blogspot.com/) who helped me realize that being a tough, free, and badass woman is totally acceptable and she showed me the way of riot grrl, blogging, crafting, and zines. Her and our friends Maureen, Jen, and Chrissy have taught me so much about standing up for myself and being rad. Without them I probably wouldn't have ever had the guts to start this blog.

In the future I plan to do some opinion pieces, interviews (fingers crossed), and who knows what else.

Comment and whatever. I'm excited to do this and I hope you are interested in seeing where it goes