Last Year, she wanted a dollhouse

ORIGINALLY I DELETED THIS BECAUSE OF SOME HEATED ARGUMENTS BUT ITS BACK UP.

Last Friday night I went to a concert in the city with the influential and unbelievable metal band Eyehategod headlining, supported by Brutal Truth, Nachtmystium, Black Anvil, and Tombs. I had bought my ticket for this concert mere days after it was announced and had been looking forward to seeing one of the bands that really shaped who I am musically (Eyehategod) for the first time.

Needless to say, there was an abundance of bearded men and their over dressed goth girlfriends, but not many women who seemed to be there to actually enjoy some serious Sister****er and Dopesick jams. This point was driven home by a shocking and slightly upsetting altercation between Mike Williams (Eyehategod's lead singer and notable badass) and some woman, dressed in the skankiest of shirts who had been flipping off the crowd the entire time....while not showing any interest in the actual music) because it seemed she had hit his wife. As I watched, he came at her with a mic stand, a water bottle, and his fists before the song ended and he let out a stream of ****s, bitches, and ****s about her. This ended in him telling the crowd to kick her out or he'd stab her.

While a small portion of the crowd yelled out things like "this is how you treat your fans?!", most of the audience was supportive of his decision and many laughed and cheered him on as he yelled "BUH BYE" to the faceless woman.

This whole interaction led to an interesting thought sequence about how women are seen in the metal and hardcore music scenes. Many women, as I've seen, that come to shows are looking to sleep with the men in the bands, and while I do not condone the actions of my beloved lead singer at this show, I can understand how disrespectful it can seem to the band to have women only there because they think you're attractive and not because they respect your music.



There have been some awesome female figures in metal like Runhild Gammelsæter (who at the age of 17 joined forces with guitar gods Greg Anderson and Stephen O'Malley to form to metal power trio Thorr's Hammer) but it is still a genre filled with "show sluts" and "reluctant girlfriends" and not enough women who are there to jam out and enjoy the music.

 check out Horror Pain Gore Death records. he's a great dude.
And check out the month long endeavors of Jamie Keiles and the Seventeen Magazine Project

A Quickie About Pansexuality

Last night I was having a talk with a friend about this blog and various things related to sex. At one point the topic of sexual orientation came up and I mentioned that I saw myself as pansexual.
For those of you who are unaware, pansexuality is defined, according to wikipedia, as being characterized by the potential aesthetic attraction, romantic love, or sexual desire towards people regardless of their gender identity or biological sex.
There is a difference between this and bisexuality as pansexuality is a way to skip gender binaries that often help define the interests of a bisexual person.

While I have my specific tastes for a male or a female (big tits and blonde hair vs a beard and chest hair) and ones that fall under both categories (tattoos, glasses) I do not see most biological sexual attributes (even down to the genitalia) as any means of deciding a future mate. I also see transexuals and other people who go beyond gender binary as beautiful and someone I could consider dating.

As I mentioned to my friend, I am a very testosterone driven women but just because I don't wear frills and makeup doesn't make my vagina any less meaningful.
I love hardcore music.
I love hot pink.
I love meat and potatoes.
I love cotton candy.
I love watching/playing rugby.
I love bubblegum.

If that means I'm androgynous than so be it.


"The first time I slept with a woman I freaked out. I was like am I gay? Am I straight? And then I realized, I'm just a slut"- Margaret Cho (this was done by memory so I doubt its verbatim).

So, who am I?

So I'm a lady. I'm bossy. I'm abrasive. I curse a lot. I like sex. I like hardcore and metal. I like folk music. I'm obsessed with tattoos. And I'm the classiest broad you'll ever meet.

Since I was old enough to even know what sex was I was fascinated by it. Not just the fact that it felt good, but the fact that it was the single most important factor in our existence yet it is still unbelievably taboo! I have always felt that sex is, and should be, a form of empowerment for men AND women.

I am not a man hating feminist.

I love men, I love women, and I love every gender in between.

I watch porn quite a lot. But not to get off. I watch it just to become accustomed to new things that a portion of our population is interested in.

I love Kathleen Hanna, Allison Wolfe, and Madison Young.

And many others. But they're the three I've been focusing on lately.

Mainly Miss Young.

An adult film actress who runs a sexuality and gender based art gallery out in san fran. She's a beautiful and wonderfully eloquent woman who I would love to model my future after. Though I'm n0t terribly interested in following her path in being an adult film actress (though I have immense respect for how she's held herself in such a potentially misogynistic field) I have found what she does outside of that to be amazing.

And Kathleen Hanna and Allison Wolfe for OBVIOUS reasons.

I would also like to note a certain Miss Taryn Hipp (who can be found at http://tarynhipp.blogspot.com/) who helped me realize that being a tough, free, and badass woman is totally acceptable and she showed me the way of riot grrl, blogging, crafting, and zines. Her and our friends Maureen, Jen, and Chrissy have taught me so much about standing up for myself and being rad. Without them I probably wouldn't have ever had the guts to start this blog.

In the future I plan to do some opinion pieces, interviews (fingers crossed), and who knows what else.

Comment and whatever. I'm excited to do this and I hope you are interested in seeing where it goes